Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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