I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
is it fun? or sober?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
