Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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