never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
