This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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