she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize