we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
