??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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