Whod you bang
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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