no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
