Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
