I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize