Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My ATM looks so different sober.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
