She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
there is puke in my bra ... again
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