with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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