is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
My pussy is not your playground.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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