Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
