Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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