dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
