Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
