I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
foreskin is a definite game changer
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Randomize
