this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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