Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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