It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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