I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
the raccoons are back...
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