when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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