no, he came in my armpit
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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