he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Are my feet made of real feet?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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