Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.

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  (201): she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake. http://tfl.nu/meow
  Replies (19) Good night (424) Bad night (1049) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.

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  (407): im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes (1-407): i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes. http://tfl.nu/3nr6
  Replies (21) Good night (3971) Bad night (568) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"

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  (949): i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE" http://tfl.nu/e95g
  Replies (18) Good night (939) Bad night (4106)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.

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  (402): The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities. http://tfl.nu/3lte
  Replies (18) Good night (7093) Bad night (698) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Well now I have my semen on her headphones

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  (203): Well now I have my semen on her headphones http://tfl.nu/hho2
  Replies (7) Good night (2264) Bad night (1886) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'

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  (315): when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly' http://tfl.nu/2ku4
  Replies (6) Good night (3762) Bad night (835) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.

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  (512): We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos. http://tfl.nu/fazf
  Replies (6) Good night (2446) Bad night (1700) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.

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  (301): Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/mimi
  Replies (21) Good night (2416) Bad night (1095) Order T-Shirt
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  (626): View more from California

  There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.

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  (626): There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you. http://tfl.nu/ru1c
  Replies (4) Good night (3133) Bad night (666) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??

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  (304): Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away?? http://tfl.nu/5x5i
  Replies (4) Good night (1541) Bad night (1051) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.

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  (403): You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark. http://tfl.nu/dx9e
  Replies (16) Good night (2140) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason

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  (541): I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason http://tfl.nu/z5wn
  Replies (26) Good night (565) Bad night (1615) Order T-Shirt
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  (562): View more from California

  I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"

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  (562): I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??" http://tfl.nu/7nog
  Replies (6) Good night (737) Bad night (234) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal

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  (775): You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal http://tfl.nu/airp
  Replies (3) Good night (551) Bad night (190) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?

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  (801): Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention? http://tfl.nu/lgvd
  Replies (10) Good night (249) Bad night (580) Order T-Shirt

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