You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
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He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
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I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...