I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Goodnight sugar queer
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping