Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great