Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
