Having a random hookup so left but love u
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!