Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
