You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
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Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
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I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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