His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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