Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
