i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Houston, we have a squirter
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
