Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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