So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
