i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
