I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
