We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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