i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
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I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
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my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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