let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
