New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
