That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
