I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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