Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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