So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
