I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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