Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
