you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
this hospital has no fireball
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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