i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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