I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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