The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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