There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
