how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
