Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
