im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
