he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
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His hands were made for my vagina.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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