Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
